The Professor will fix all general practice’s problems!
Professor Candid is running for college president and he would like to make a number of modest proposals.
Proposal 1: Ban drug-seekers
The Prof promises to eradicate all drug-seekers from your practice. It’s probably best if you don’t ask him what he’s going to do with them all.
Proposal 2: Free trampoline
Bouncing makes you feel great. If elected Professor Candid promises a free trampoline for every practice!
Proposal 3: Jam-free printer
It’s Monday morning and thanks to a drug-seeker you’re already running well over an hour late. To compound matters a piece of paper decides to wedge itself in the impossibly deep innards of your printer.
But Prof promises to make this a thing of the past with jam-free printers!
Proposal 4: A one-week hospital waiting list
Your patient injured their knee while bouncing on a trampoline. You’ve examined them, sent them off for an MRI and confirmed an ACL rupture and meniscal tear. Instead of your patient having to wait for 18 months to be seen in the public system, your nice orthopaedic colleague gives you a call and tells you that he can see them next week! Bravo!
Proposal 5: A mental health service that says “yes”
You’ve lost count of the number of patients you’ve referred to the community mental health team in the vain hope that they’ll see one of them. Each and every time you’re told to refer your patient to a counsellor instead.
Well, Prof will put an end to these shenanigans with a “Say Yes Mental Health Service”!
Proposal 6: A free wish
That’s right, Prof promises to grant everyone a free wish!
His personal wish is to buy an ermine cape and go off to the Scottish highlands with a deck chair. Not to look like King Charles but to re-enact Depeche Mode’s Enjoy the Silence.
