28 July 2020

The Back Page: Private school keeps students’ masks in line

The Back Page

A private school has gone all fashion control freak over what masks its students wear.

The freedom of expression of Australian tweens has been dealt another crushing blow as a private school in south Melbourne has requested that students only wear masks that match the school branding.

Lighthouse Christian College shared a video with parents detailing its COVID mask guidelines for students.

The video suggested students wear plain masks in colours that match the school uniform, according to The Guardian.

Grey, blue, black or white were ok, but designs or patterns were not, the guidelines said.

(God forbid we let the kiddies have a bit of fun by decorating their new uniform accessories… It’s not like they’re living through a terrifying public health crisis or anything.)

A relative of a current student complained to the school in a letter, saying, “[The policy] focuses on the appearance of the mask, therefore prioritising school image and treating face masks as a uniform accessory rather than as a piece of PPE.”

In a response to this complainant, a representative of the school wrote back and said, “As you are not a parent, guardian or fee-paying member of the Lighthouse Christian College, I find your letter to be very presumptious [sic] and not in context with our values.”

Of course, anyone who has attended a snotty private school could have guessed this would happen.

From the perspective of private schools, masks are just one more opportunity to quash any instincts for individuality until the little people in their care are Prefect-ready brand ambassadors.

To its credit, Lighthouse Christian College did update the parents to say that kids were not banned from wearing other kinds of masks.

“As the information we have provided on the wearing of masks is only a guideline, we would not stop or prevent a student from wearing a mask that falls outside of these guidelines,” the school said.

The Back Page encourages all private school children to take this as permission to make their masks as sparkly, subversive and fabulous as possible.

Obviously, not like this. Do not wear masks like this.

If you see something stupid, say something stupid… Send ur cute mask pics to felicity@medicalrepublic.com.au

COVID-19 live update