GP existential crisis summit sparks existential crisis in GPs.
Yesterday’s crisis meeting in Canberra to revitalise general practice has plunged panel members and attendees into an existential crisis, it has emerged.
“We had over seven agenda items,” one delegate told The Medical Republic “and we were quite upbeat about it all. The items included supporting GPs, expanding services and appealing to junior doctors.
“But then we realised that supporting, expanding and appealing are just words, like speedboat and marzipan. When we realised this and agreed that increasing Medicare rebates is the only thing that can save general practice we sank into a state of turbid existential dread and began to question the very meaning and purpose of life.”
Some of the attendees retired to their rooms to stare at their ceiling fans, while others read Beckett and began to paint their feelings on to canvas.
“We could’ve rounded the corner,” continued the delegate, “but then they announced there was no Chateau Petrus on the drinks menu and we were plunged into a state of terrifying ennui. It felt like we’d been thrown down a deep well of Weltschmerz and forced to occupy the crepuscular void of our own souls.
“We did come away with two positives though. More money is the only way to help general practice and you don’t need Chateau Petrus to put out the smouldering soul-pile of existential dread that exists in all of us. House red will do just fine.”
With apologies to Leon Spilliaert.
