PBS criteria push Paxlovid sales on to the streets

In this TMR exclusive report, covid patients are turning to the criminal underworld to score the in-demand antivirals.

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Antivirals are being sold on the black market, it has emerged. 

“Antivirals like Paxlovid are incredibly sought after,” pharmacology expert Professor Candid told The Medical Republic, “and although the PBS criteria have changed there are still a lot of patients out there who simply don’t qualify for the drug.” 

Professor Candid said this had driven the sale and distribution of Paxlovid underground. 

TMR spoke with local police chief Todd Simpson: “Illicit drug dealing has been on the up, but after making a number of arrests we didn’t find methamphetamines, Xanax or even heroin, what we found were boxes of high-grade nirmatrelvir-ritonavir being sold at hugely marked-up prices.

“It’s going by the street names of Pax-Man and Pfizzies.”

A Paxlovid-dealer who goes by the name of Danny the Badger told TMR: “Pax-Man is like gold dust around here. When I pitch up next to the wheelie bins at the back of Woolies there’s already a coughing line of punters who look as nervous as junkies hanging-out for an eight ball of meth.

“I always recommend they consult the Liverpool drug interaction checker, but at the end of the day I’m a dealer not a doctor and they’re grown adults who know the risks.” 

The dealer then showed TMR the secret stash of Paxlovid he keeps hidden inside a doll’s head. 

“I tested positive on a PCR test and spoke with my GP,” one patient told TMR. “He refused to prescribe antivirals for me saying that I didn’t meet the criteria. But my cough was getting worse and I’d heard about the Badger so I took matters into my own hands and met him behind the bins.

“He took out this weird doll and fished some tablets out for me. He told me to take three tablets twice a day for five days, preferably with food. If I’m honest it was like a really rubbish episode of Breaking Bad.”

Border Force this week seized over 18 tonnes of Paxlovid that was concealed in a consignment of LOL dolls from Thailand and was reportedly heading for the streets of Melbourne.

Detective Inspector Gavin Mule of the Organised Crime Partnership said “If this drug had hit the streets it’s not known how many ineligible patients could have benefited from a shorter, less severe form of the illness with a reduced risk of developing long-covid symptoms.

“I think it’s important we all remember that antiviral dealing is not a victimless crime.”