NSW Health jumps a very tall shark

A naming contest for a crane? I suspect someone is taking the piss from a 31m height.

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In news that will surprise nobody, NSW Health Infrastructure has jumped the shark. It would make the Fonz proud, frankly. 

Like every state government in the country, at least the ones with elections coming and money to spend – looking at you, Queensland – NSW is deep in a frenzy of building shiny new hospitals and, like every health media team everywhere, the folk at NSW Health Infrastructure are trying to make it interesting. 

The latest plan is a bid to make the construction phase of the Tamworth Mental Health Unit … well … fun. 

NSW Health Infrastructure has asked the community to “Name the Crane”. 

Yes, really. The 31m crane needs a name, apparently. And if you all didn’t just say “Craney McCraneface” to yourselves, you’re lying. 

Send it in – here’s the entry form – you have a good chance of having your winning name painted on the damn crane, and there are prizes for the top three names. 

Will it beat the legendary Boaty McBoatface, later renamed the RSS Sir David Attenborough? 

By the way, there is now an actual Boaty McBoatface. It’s the British lead boat in a fleet of three robotic lithium battery–powered autonomous underwater vehicles of the Autosub Long Range  class. Launched in 2017 and carried on board the RRS Sir David Attenborough. 

There is the equally legendary South Yorkshire council’s 2017 bid to find a name for a snow plough. Candidates included Spready Mercury, Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-Slip Machinery, Basil Salty and, of course, David Plowie. 

The eventual winner has slipped into the mists of time, sadly. 

So come on, doctors. Put your witty thinking caps on. 

Is it going to be a tribute to Mr Squiggle’s Bill the Steam Shovel? Or am I the only one that old?  

Tally McTallerson? Stumpy McShortarse? Ichabod Crane? Frasier Crane? Shorty? 

Come on, thinking caps on and answers in the comments. The best one gets to read another pointless column from this Back Page scribbler next Tuesday. 

 Send Tippi Tippersens to penny@medicalrepublic.com.au.