With antivenom stocks dwindling, it’s best to catch not kill those frisky funnel-webs.
We know it’s not fair, but some of God’s creatures are just easier to love than others.
Puppies and kittens, for example, are consistently adorable, even when they’re peeing in your ugg boots and scratching the expensively restored G-plan coffee table.
Show me a funnel-web spider, on the other hand, and I’ll show you a grown man typing “flamethrowers for sale near me” into a search engine.
Apologies to those readers who live in areas of this fine brown land where cohabitating with these arachnid demons is not a thing, but not only are these critters the deadliest spiders on the planet, they look the part as well.
And right now, according to a media release from the Australian Reptile Park, these eight-legged venom injectors are starting to be at their most active ahead of expected wetter and more humid weather across the Greater Sydney area.
Given that a bite from the deadlier male of the species can cause death in the very young or the elderly in as little as 15 minutes, keeping a watchful eye out for these creepy crawlies seems a sensible idea.
Now you’d think the obvious response for ordinary folks upon a close encounter would be to either (1): Flee the scene screaming while contemplating emigrating to New Zealand, or (2); Terminate with extreme prejudice (flamethrower optional).
But no.
As it transpires, the reptile park’s advice is to take the spider prisoner, in the kindest possible way, and then drop it off at one of a network of vets and hospitals so its poison can be milked and used to develop antivenom.
According to the park’s spider keeper, Emma Teni, this very successful antivenom program relies entirely upon public donations of spiders and their egg sacs, and at the moment supplies are running low.
“People need to remain vigilant and safely catch any funnel-web spiders they come across. Every spider received could be the one that saves a life,” she told media.
The park has produced a helpful video showing lay people how to safely catch a funnel-web, and, to be fair, they make it look easy.
“Grab a smooth jar and a long-handled spoon, gently place a jar in front of the spider and encourage it to walk into the jar using the spoon,” Ms Teni said.
“[Place] a little bit of moisture, either soil or a wet cotton bud in the jar and safely secure the lid.”
If, however, you never even saw the bitey bugger in the first place, or if things go pear-shaped in the taking prisoner scenario, the advice is to apply a pressure immobilisation bandage immediately and seek medical assistance as quickly as possible.
If, like your correspondent, you’re a fully paid-up member of the fraidy cats club and the very worthy capturing option just isn’t going to happen, the best thing you can do is avoid fossicking around in cool damp places such as leaf litter and garden beds, laundries and garages.
And always check your shoes for arachnid invaders if you regularly leave them outside.
Now that we can do.
Send story tips worth milking to penny@medicalrepublic.com.au.
