They just don’t have time – better make backup Valentine’s Day plans.
The universe is simply too short and the monkey population is simply too small to ever write the entire collected works of Shakespeare, according to the boffins at the University of Technology Sydney.
This important study, led by mathematician Associate Professor Stephen Woodcock, investigated the long-established theory that the complete works of William Shakespeare would be reproduced by a monkey randomly pressing keys on a typewriter.
It assumes either an infinite number of monkeys and/or an infinite period of what the authors termed “monkey labour”.
This theorem – known as the infinite monkey theorem – technically holds true, but is somewhat misleading, according to Professor Woodcock.
Unfortunately, with the assumed heat death of the universe looming in just 10100 years and the population of chimpanzees sitting at 200,000, we have neither infinite time nor infinite monkeys.
Even assuming the population of chimpanzees remains constant until the end of the universe and that each chimpanzee has a 30-year working life and types one key per second every second of the day, the authors found that it was extremely unlikely for a monkey to write Shakespeare.
“It is not plausible that, even with improved typing speeds or an increase in chimpanzee populations, monkey labour will ever be a viable tool for developing non-trivial written works,” the authors wrote in Franklin Open.
There were similarly low chances of monkeys typing out the entire text of Pierre Boulle’s Planet of the Apes or the 1800 words of Curious George by Margret and HA Rey.
In more heartening news, though, each monkey has a 5% chance of typing the word “bananas” within its lifetime.
Source: Franklin Open
“This evaluation effectively contradicts one of the best-known pieces of folk mathematics but also firmly places the Infinite Monkeys Theorem alongside other seeming paradoxes with contradictory results in the finite and infinite cases,” the authors wrote.
Your monkey can send typewritten story tips to Penny@medicalrepublic.com.au.
