Lectures are fine and all but painters have all the big conditions covered.
According to Hippocrates “Life is short, and art is long” and there’s no denying that art and medicine are deeply connected.
If you’re in any doubt, reach for Chekhov, Bulgakov or William Somerset Maugham.
Professor Candid’s latest book Portraits of Pathology is a great stocking-filler and aims to teach medical students vital lessons through painting.
Here are some extracts.
Acute otitis media: An inflammation of the middle ear causing pain and tenderness which often resolves without antibiotics. Smoking a pipe definitely doesn’t help, especially in the under 5s.
Smoking kills, unless you’re old enough to have seen Pulp Fiction at the cinema, in which case smoking rocks! Zed’s dead baby, Zed’s dead.
“You tried your best doc but he smoked all his life. At least he had a good death.”
Syncope has a wide differential diagnosis. Always ask the patient what medication they’re taking, and if they’re prescribed a beta-blocker consider stopping it.
Nipple changes should never be ignored.
Hyperflexion neck injuries: immobilise and order an urgent CT.
Narcissism: when they’ve got the disease but you’ve got the symptoms.
On a scale of 0 to 10, 0 being no pain and 10 being like being eaten alive by your dad Saturn, how would you rate your pain?
“I’m not sure doc but I think that Cialis you prescribed might be working a bit too well:”
If a patient describes the white of ischaemia, the blue of deoxygenation and the red of re-perfusion then think Raynaud’s.
“I know it’s not covid, doc, it’s just a cold:”
A delusion is an unshared and unshakeable belief.
Neck braces are counter-productive in whiplash injuries; encourage the patient to take simple analgesia and gently mobilise.
Clinical depression: When you’ve got it you can never imagine being without it, but when you don’t you can never imagine having it. Running away to Paris to stare at Léon Spilliaert portraits at the Musée d’Orsay when you’re 17 wont help either, the French are just as f***ed up as everyone else.
Young mums can often feel overwhelmed, particularly if they lack social support. Be alert for postnatal depression.
Some patients are nuttier than squirrel shit; all you can really do is adopt a harm-minimisation approach, listen and make sure they come for their monthly depot.
