Frighteningly, I seem to be seeing elder abuse more and more often among my patients, writes Dr Linda Calabresi
Judy (not her real name) is one of my regular elderly patients. Sheâs had a number of health issues over the past few years and consequently is keen to âcheck inâ with me every few weeks, more for reassurance these days than any great medical expertise on my part.
Judy is in her mid-80s, widowed and living in her own home with both her adult daughter, who never married, and her adult son, who is divorced. Over time, Iâve come to learn this is not a happy family. Judyâs children often criticise and fight with her, over issues such as her using the bathroom or kitchen when theyâre wanting to. There are no mutual outings or activities. Judy cooks her own frozen dinners and she still does all the housework. She has to catch public transport or a taxi if she goes anywhere because the children wonât take her. And they pay her nothing in rent or maintenance for the home.
Now I know Judy is not covered in bruises or being starved, but I also know she hates going home. And even though I have only heard one side of the story, it is a fact that she is a little, frail old lady and she feels powerless to do anything about this situation, even if she wanted to, because, after all, these are her children.
By definition, this is elder abuse and frighteningly I seem to be seeing it more and more often among my patients. Whether it be the high divorce rates, the prohibitive cost of housing or simply the fact that 15% of our population is now aged over 65 it appears more adult children are living with their elderly parents in a situation that is not always mutually beneficial and supportive. And my problem is: what the hell can I do about it?
In the last few weeks, the Australian Law Reform Commission published a 428-page report entitled: Elder Abuse â A National Legal Response. Not only is it a very extensive and considered document with a number of very practical recommendations (43 to be exact), it also is extraordinarily valuable in helping to shine a spotlight on what is largely a hidden shame. If the recommendations are adopted, the elderly should be more protected legally in terms of power of attorney and financial autonomy. They should also help protect patients in aged-care facilities.
But as for patients like my Judy, the report is hardly likely to alter her situation. As so often happens, itâs about relationships, and even though sheâs vulnerable and unhappy, sheâs certainly aware enough to refuse any of my suggestions to get help, especially legal help, and Iâm committed to respect that.
So for the time being, I will continue to listen, comfort and treat my dear Judy, and hopefully be there if she needs me, even though I know this is not nearly enough.
