The 17 caught by the COVIDSafe app

The Back Page has secured interviews with some of the lucky few to have been tracked by this quite expensive app.

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There have only been 17 new coronavirus cases detected by the federal government’s ~$12 million COVIDSafe app – and, as unlikely as it might sound, The Back Page has secured exclusive interviews with several of them.

The COVIDSafe app was launched with much fanfare in April, with Prime Minister Scott Morrison calling it the equivalent of “sunscreen” in terms of its health protection.

The smartphone app was supposed to be “Australia’s ticket to a COVIDSafe Australia” (the PM’s words) and has been downloaded by seven million little Australians so far.

But – as with many federal government tech initiatives – the app has failed to live up to expectations.

Health Department associate secretary Caroline Edwards told Senate Estimates last week that the COVIDSafe app had identified only 17 contacts not uncovered by contact tracing teams.

All 17 people identified by the app were based in NSW, and collectively led contact tracers to 80 close contacts.

Problems included that the Bluetooth app would register people as contacts if they were 1.5m apart, even if they were on other sides of a wall, as Vic CHO Brett Sutton admitted.

Opposition health spokesman Chris Bowen called the app a “huge bungle”, and Queensland Health Minister Steven Miles called the app “useless”.

Government Services Minister Stuart Robert said it was “performing exceptionally well”, but as it’s his project he could be biased.

The 17 quiet Australians revealed by the app were mostly just pleased that their battery life sacrifice had done some good.

“This app has been burning through by phone battery,” said Bruce, “but it’s worth it if it helps the government flatten that curve.”

Another contact pinpointed by the COVIDSafe app, also called Bruce, said, “I didn’t even realise I had the app on my phone. I must have forgotten to delete it.”

Bruce, another contact picked up by the COVIDSafe app, thanked the Australian government for the app, which he believed also protected him against 5G.

Bruce (no relation) told The Back Page he was happy to learn he’d finally got a match on the app. “I kept swiping right and nothing happened,” he said.

If you see something stupid, say something stupid… If your name is also Bruce and you have coronavirus, email felicity@medicalrepublic.com.au.