23 February 2021

Eight reasons to date and marry a female doctor

RedHerring

US trauma surgeon Jamie Jones reckons that female doctors often hide their occupation from potential suitors, not because they might overwhelm their date, but because their date usually isn’t interested. She doesn’t understand why.

Publisher‘s note: This is a favourite blog post from a few years ago. If you think it has nothing to do with money and medicine, you’d best read on.

A couple of years ago, I asked a friend of mine how she met her husband. It was at a bar, and when she asked his occupation he replied, “I work for the city.” She took that to mean he was a construction worker. They began dating and quickly fell in love. Much to her surprise about a month into their relationship, she learned he actually played for the local football team.

Two nights ago, I had the pleasure of having dinner with two very pretty surgical residents. As they are both single, the conversation quickly turned towards the “single life” here in our city. One began to tell me she uses dental hygienist as her go-to occupation when meeting men, while the other uses flight attendant. I have to admit, the flight attendant bit is pretty genius – it actually explains our crazy schedules pretty well!

But as I thought about this more and more, I realized that I hadn’t been surprised that they come up with alternative careers for themselves when they meet men for the first time. I wasn’t surprised, because I too, operate under the assumption that although football players might want to hide their occupation because of too much interest, we female doctors hide ours because of lack of interest.

But it isn’t just me that thinks male and female  doctors are viewed very differently on the dating scene. Think about it. On Grey’s Anatomy, you had Dr. McDreamy and then came Dr. McSteamy. But where was all the fanfare for the Dr. McFoxy or Dr. McHotties on the show?

So, in an effort to enlighten the public, I am going to list my top 8 reasons for why anyone and everyone should date or marry a female doctor (and yes, this includes surgeons!).

1. WE KNOW CPR.

Someone once gave me the advice to marry the person you want to be in the trenches with. In other words, when the s&%^ is hitting the fan, who do you want next to you, being your partner, and getting you through the hard times? So, why not be with someone who knows how to save your life, literally?

2. WE UNDERSTAND HARD WORK.

Whether it is gaining admittance into medical school, suffering through Histology, placing into a residency, or working for 30 hours straight without sleep, we know what hard work looks like, because we have done it. Marriage, at times, can require a lot of work, and trust me, you want a partner who will work as hard as you in ensuring each other’s happiness.

3. WE HANDLE STRESS WELL AND MULTI-TASK LIKE PROS.

Your in-laws have stayed too long, the baby is screaming, the cable is out, the game is on, and who knows what your firstborn is doing, wait, why is there water coming from underneath the bathroom door? Well, the saying in my house is, “At least no one is bleeding”. And then, if someone is bleeding, expect to hear, “No worries, all bleeding stops.” Because it really is true, all bleeding does stop, and we understand this. Stopping a bathroom flood in comparison to stopping a bleeding subclavian artery or delivering a baby with an umbilical cord around its neck? Cake walk.

4. WE ARE FINANCIALLY VIABLE.

You may make more money than us, we may make more than you. Guess what? We don’t care. You should appreciate that we can help our family and will always have a job. Life is unpredictable. If you lose your job or become disabled or want to go back to school, you won’t have to worry about how your family will eat or be clothed. Think outside the box, guys, it is your family’s income and stability that matters, and we will always be able to help.

5. WE ARE SMART.

Um, duh. If you can’t understand the benefits of being married to an intelligent woman, then I can’t help you. I don’t do brain transplants.

6. WE HAVE GOOD PERSONALITIES.

Being a doctor isn’t just being a good technician. We have to sell ourselves and our skills to our patients. We have to engender trust from strangers, which requires a good “bedside manner”, ie a good personality!

7. WE TEND TO BE LOW MAINTENANCE.

When you have slept in bunk beds in your late twenties and lived off of the most likely expired peanut butter and graham crackers found in the dark recesses of random cabinets, high maintenance really isn’t in our vocabulary. We don’t expect limos and hot air balloons on dates. Just show up and have food served at something other than room temperature and you are way ahead in the game!

8. WE HAVE A UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE.

We take care of sick people, we have witnessed the moments that Death has come to take our patients away, and we have comforted those left behind. When this is how you spend your days, we are much less likely to give you hell over forgetting to pick up your underwear off the floor.

Although, for real, pick up your  underwear

This is an edited version of a Jamie Jones blog that first appeared on  Hot Heels, Cool Kicks, & a Scalpel.

COVID-19 live update