There were many stupid decisions in health in 2024 but there can only be one winner!
Yes it’s that time of year again: time for the Golden Enema awards!
And the runners up in 2024 are:
Item number removal
How can the government best support GPs working in socially deprived areas? I know, by removing the Medicare items they rely on to make ends meet!
The removal of 721, 723 and 732 item billing codes next year will throw practices in socially deprived areas under the bus. And remember, this is no ordinary bus, this is a 20-tonne silver eagle bus driven recklessly by none other than Mark Butler who doesn’t know where he’s going or how the clutch works.
Artificial intelligence
Look at me, everybody, I’m using an AI scribe!
Like any labour-saving device, all those efficiency savings can only mean one thing: you’ll end up working harder and seeing more patients than ever before. And with all those unredacted transcripts floating around the place it’ll only be a matter of time before they fall into the wrong hands.
“Welcoming in AI is like pulling on a gimp suit and begging through your ballgag not to be enslaved.” – Professor Candid 2024
Vape legislation
Vaping may make you look ridiculous – think human fire extinguisher – but it’s a pretty good harm-reduction measure.
But when the government got their hands on the idea they drowned it in a bucket of pig shit.
Thanks to clunky, confusing and often contradictory regulation, vapes have been driven on to the black market. They’re now controlled by gangs and laced with wild-strawberry and nitazene: what could possibly go wrong?
Urgent care clinics
These appear every year at the Golden Enemas, but this year they deserve special mention because Bundaberg’s MUCC recently had to close its doors. Do I hear “I told you so”?
And this year’s Golden Enema award goes to:
Queensland Health for physician assistants
Start with a good idea, take the word “good” out of it and replace it with the word “shit”, and that gives you some idea of what PAs are all about.
Even the UK has realised that PAs are a bad idea, and the UK struggles to recognise a bad idea even when Boris Johnson smashes them repeatedly in the nuts with it.
The notion that you can do medicine on the cheap by getting someone other than a doctor to do it is magical thinking.
This year’s winner gets Yard Act’s Where’s my Utopia album and a collection of recycled rubbish.
