And the healers shall be smote for their inappropriate billings.
An ancient scroll found by a Canberra dog walker appears to prophesy the rise of a PSR “Behemoth” that shall enact terrifying retribution upon non-compliant Medicare users.
In an exclusive interview the dog walker told The Medical Republic: “Every day I walk past Brindabella Business Park where the PSR headquarters are. It’s a strange place, there are signs everywhere telling you that you can’t take photographs, and one evening my dog managed to squeeze through the perimeter fence and came back with something in its mouth. After he spat it out I was surprised to find a half-eaten scroll!”
The scroll was examined by Professor Candid, a specialist in ancient languages.
“It’s really rather interesting,” he said. “It’s made of vellum and written in a runic alphabet similar to that used by tribes in northern Germany and Scandinavia.
“I’ve been able to translate most of it and considering it was found near a business park in Canberra it’s pretty weird stuff. I’ll read some of it to give you a flavour of the text. This particular passage is called “A warning to the healers”:
Behold the Behemoth we have made
Behold its brutality
Behold the many eyes that are always open, feeding the iron mind that brings forth judgment
And behold the tendrils that will strangle your untruths
For mercy heed our call and lower your bright sword
Ye shall be judged
Your guilt shall be proven
And may God have mercy upon your soul
“On the back somebody’s written ‘remember to buy coffee pods’. I’m not sure how that ties in with the vengeful Behemoth.”
The dog walker told TMR: “I’ve seen and heard some strange things coming out of that business park, it’s a very mysterious place and to be quite honest no one really knows what goes on there.
“I’ve heard Gregorian chanting and I’ve seen green lights radiating from the roof top of the PSR. Come to think of it, I did once see an enormous Behemoth with lots of eyes and tendrils but I just put it down to one of my migraines.”
The origins of the ancient scroll remain a myster, but it appears that from behind the glittering glass and polished atria of the Brindabella Business Park a furious beast is seeking retribution and can be heard howling for human blood from deep within.
