Mr Pebbles will ensure the punishment fits your crime.
AHPRA is replacing all its penalties with a tomb world inhabited by a lonely creature known as Mr Pebbles, it has emerged.
A spokesperson for AHPRA told The Medical Republic: “We’ve listened to clinicians and doctors’ groups and we’re going to radically change the way we do things.
“From now on the victim, I mean the candidate, will be forced to survive for at least two years inside what we’re now calling the tomb world, a crepuscular landscape full of bureaucratic dead ends and suffering.
“And then, if you haven’t starved to death or suicided, you’ll have a chance to meet Mr Pebbles.”
Mr Pebbles with his river-worn face isn’t really human. It’s not really known what he is.
Supernatural expert Professor Candid told TMR: “Mr Pebbles doesn’t really have a face, there’s just a smudge where that should be. He’s more like a Victorian lady’s mirror, a Parisian handbasin smeared with blood, a ripped curtain flailing in the Whitechapel wind, a midnight face reflected in the Thames Estuary, a silver-moon smile sutured shut. I could go on but it’s not going to help any.
“Mr Pebbles’ punishments vary in their severity: you could be condemned to suffer the ailment that you were judged to have ignored, not through negligence but due to the difficult and complex business of diagnosis.
“A step above this is the forced removal of an organ – if you miss a child’s appendicitis yours is removed and plopped in a pickle jar. Fair enough!
“However, if you’re found guilty of irredeemable sin Mr Pebbles will strip away your internal life leaving just an envelope of leathery skin which is then nailed outside the entrance of the tomb world to ripple like a banner in the autumn wind.”
It’s believed that Mr Pebbles used to work for the federal government’s audit office.
“We hope Mr Pebbles has many happy and prosperous years ahead of him working for our organisation,” said the APHRA spokesperson, shuddering involuntarily.
