A better retail experience for RACGP members

2 minute read


The college boutique can do better than novelty socks and ‘casual’ ties: here’s 10 things members really want.


Dear RACGP,  

The other day I was scrolling through your website looking for porn when I stumbled across the college shop.  

You describe it as a “boutique” but I have to say that a pair of novelty socks and a “casual tie” doesn’t quite cut the mustard. I mean if I went around wearing nothing but a pair of novelty socks and a “casual tie” I’d be arrested.

So I have some suggestions for you: 

  1. Vodka. The college is raking in the money so why not invest in a distillery. I’m sure your members would be more than willing to pay premium prices for super-strong ice-cold vodka sold in the college’s very own crystal skulls.  
  1. A Medicare Benefits Schedule book. With the pages cut out so you can hide RACGP vodka inside.  
  1. Careers advice. Let’s be honest, with the advent of covid and the politicisation of general practice, a lot of your members have got their eye on alternative careers. Why not give them a helping hand with the college’s very own career advice handbook called Chimney sweeps have it better than this?? 
  1. A full membership refund.  
  1. A supernatural locket. A convenient and safe place to store your soul after you’ve fellowed and start slaving away as a full-time GP. 
  1. RACGP certificates for pharmacists. 
  1. Aldi vouchers. These have wide appeal but to be honest shopping in Aldi feels a bit like rummaging through the bins. Last time I visited I went in for some milk but came out with a box of fake Sultana Bran, 10L of bleach and a hedge strimmer. 
  1. A mahogany box shaped like Queensland, ideal for storing jewellery and lies.  
  1. An RACGP insignia branding iron. 
  1. A telephone timer to keep our calls under 20 minutes.

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