The college boutique can do better than novelty socks and ‘casual’ ties: here’s 10 things members really want.
Dear RACGP,
The other day I was scrolling through your website looking for porn when I stumbled across the college shop.
You describe it as a “boutique” but I have to say that a pair of novelty socks and a “casual tie” doesn’t quite cut the mustard. I mean if I went around wearing nothing but a pair of novelty socks and a “casual tie” I’d be arrested.
So I have some suggestions for you:
- Vodka. The college is raking in the money so why not invest in a distillery. I’m sure your members would be more than willing to pay premium prices for super-strong ice-cold vodka sold in the college’s very own crystal skulls.
- A Medicare Benefits Schedule book. With the pages cut out so you can hide RACGP vodka inside.
- Careers advice. Let’s be honest, with the advent of covid and the politicisation of general practice, a lot of your members have got their eye on alternative careers. Why not give them a helping hand with the college’s very own career advice handbook called Chimney sweeps have it better than this??
- A full membership refund.
- A supernatural locket. A convenient and safe place to store your soul after you’ve fellowed and start slaving away as a full-time GP.
- RACGP certificates for pharmacists.
- Aldi vouchers. These have wide appeal but to be honest shopping in Aldi feels a bit like rummaging through the bins. Last time I visited I went in for some milk but came out with a box of fake Sultana Bran, 10L of bleach and a hedge strimmer.
- A mahogany box shaped like Queensland, ideal for storing jewellery and lies.
- An RACGP insignia branding iron.
- A telephone timer to keep our calls under 20 minutes.
