4 August 2020
Victorians must be getting thoroughly sick of tuning in to hear their premier doing the equivalent of cancelling Christmas every day.
But who can resist a press conference with such shocking announcements and such unpredictable timing?
Dan Andrews’ pressers are becoming a daily habit for many Victorians. The only problem is that people are confused about when the conference will start.
That’s ok though because someone has created a useful Twitter account, “WhatTimeIsDansPresser”, specifically to give people this information.
The account description simply reads “Tweeting the best known time for Dan’s daily presser. Fashion predictions not included.”
It’s got over 3,000 followers already.
Why not 6am, or 3am? Why does everyone target elevensies? pic.twitter.com/Ykr8TuCrXx
— ?? Lord Dráké ??? (@JohnDrakeCooper) August 4, 2020
The daily press conferences have become such a vital update on the state of COVID-19 affairs in Victoria that pundits have begun reading between the lines on everything from the timing of the conference to Andrews’ choice of jacket.
Here’s the cheat sheet for the Dan Andrews presser:
11am = not terrible
After 12pm = bad
Wearing a suit = real bad news
Sports jacket = moderately bad news
Northface jumper = it’s the weekend
Wearing a suit on the weekend after 12pm = shit’s fucked
— David Milner (@DaveMilbo) August 2, 2020
If you see something stupid, say something stupid… Send your premieral press tips for The Back Page to [email protected]